Hey...What's up...It's almost Turkey Day...the day when millions of people will kill millions of innocent turkeys...all in the name of the Pilgrims coming to America...-sigh- I am such a hypercrite...I talk about not killing innocent beings such as animals, and yet i willingly consume them...Animals deserve the same rights as humans! -sigh--sigh--sigh- Poor animals...no rights at all. I mean, killing an animal doesnt even carry as high a sentence as killing a human. So, they might not be as intellectual as us, but so what? Since when has that meant it was ok to kill them? Do we kill children who are mentally retarded? No...all living things deserve some rights...who knows, one day they might rise up against us...

I still have to complete seven hours for KIWIN's, and only one week in which to do it...maybe this was a mistake...i feel like i'm drowning in work...i have no free time to do anything anymore...It's fun, but its defintely work...

do i trust my heart or just my mind- Stare at the Sun by Thrice... Which do I trust? More of my mind probably...Like, my wish is to love and be loved, but my mind knows that it is a weakness, to be exploited...But, like Drew Barrymore said in the movie, Never Been Kissed, :

That thing. That moment. You kiss someone and it's like the world around you gets all hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this other person and you know that one person is the person you're meant to be kissing for the rest of your life. And for that one moment you've been given this amazing gift and you want to laugh and cry at the same time because you're so lucky you found it, and so scared that it will all go away.

I want it, but I don't...I'd be uber stressed...But all I want is to be wanted, and in the words of Drew, to find my penguin...lol...but...

Sometimes I just feel like weeping...like I'm tired of this world...I'm scared...scared of the unknown, of the future...and wondering, where do we go after death? where do you go for the rest of time? I am just so scared...will i be alone? with others? Will I be with the rest of the world? In heaven or in hell? In the sky or down below? Where? It's all I want to know...are we reincarnated? Or is this all a dream? -sigh- I just feel like...crying. i can see why people turn to religon...

sometimes i feel like i'm so stressed out that i want to...cut...that way i'd be able to focus on the physical pain instead of emotional pain...but i dont...

Au revior,

Me...and only Me.

bonjour! yay! some people are reading my xanga entries, but its only the short ones...hmmm, is this a hint? :) anyways, i wrote more poems (i really should post them on here eh?), but they're about suicide and death and how the world sucks, so yup...i also have this one about fire...and i told larry about it and i found out he has this weird fixation with it...lol :D anyways, i'm remarkably happy for someone who's computer just crashed...yea, it sucks! and my asthma's really bad so they put me on prenasonse (sp) which i believe is a steriod...lol, julian's just like, what if they give you the wrong one and you start growing all these big muscles? -sigh- i should just ask him to homecoming...should i? shouldnt i? i dunno! anyways, larry's pissing me off by trying to take my picture and i'm applying to KIWIN's...just thought i should post an update on my life since i've been gone for a while...oh, and did i tell you Mirarim is getting on my nerves and so is larry? argh! anyways, the top 30 students in Magnet get to go to the House Of Blues on Oct. 22nd, and larry, paulina, and jackie got to go! grrr...lucky peeps get to miss school. they were some of the worst (or average) students last year so i guess thats good for them. au revior peeps!

btw, alias ep #2 was a lot better than ep #1!